I have been living alone in our house for about 2 months. My mom and brother left for the States. At first it felt liberating to be left all alone, living independently, with the house and the car at my disposal. Ah freedom! This spells house parties and road trips without anyone barging in on all the fun.
But let me tell you this: Living alone is fuck hard.
At first I was so blissfully content, eating and sleeping whenever I want, leaving the house as I please. No one nagging me about the dishes and the state of my bedroom.
Then, one day, while enjoying one of my leisurely afternoon siestas, I sat up in bed and wondered, “Who’s paying my electric and water bill?”
I immediately got up in a state of panic. Things I haven’t noticed before suddenly became magnified.
The stinking pile of laundry on my bedroom floor.
Stack of plates balanced gingerly atop my computer table.
Mugs with traces of coffee over the dryer.
Piles of trash and neglected food bits in the kitchen.
The bathroom floor yearning to be scrubbed.
Finally, my bill statements under the messy pile of receipts by the phone.
My head is spinning. I have all this adult stuff to do. I never realized how much my mom does for me until she’s no longer there to do it.
Now I pay bills and do banking. I am struggling with all the paperwork and the queues and the business talk. And all that Math!
Broken faucets and faulty wirings are now part of my problem. I have to deal with household pets and molds and an assortment of household chores.
I wonder how my mom does it.
Everyday there is another house problem that needs to be dealt with. I am still struggling to keep my balance while juggling all these tasks. I could only hope that I am somehow improving.
Then my thesis seminar starts next month. I am so totally dead.