November 2011 - My cousin’s wedding.
120lbs. Crash dieting. No exercise.
May 2012 - Beach outing. 130lbs. Depressed. Stress eating. No exercise.
January 2013 - Diagnosed with isthmic spondylolisthesis. 130lbs. Perhaps one of the lowest points of my life. I started swimming, then doing yoga this year.
May 2014 - My graduation from my masters. 147lbs. Still doing yoga and Herbalife. Still not an ideal weight, but getting there.
I still don’t have my ideal body, and my definition of an ideal body is moving past my disability and being able to move like a normal person, train like a normal athlete, join triathlons, do yoga and do extreme sports without pain or difficulty.
Looking at these pictures, I look fucking great in 2011. I actually went “Holy fuck, I was thinner than I thought I was.” And there it is. I was really thinner then, but I wasn’t happier back then than I am now. Back then, I hated those arms, and I basically starved myself for four months to fit in that gorgeous dress. I subsisted on wheat crackers and canned tuna. When I was hungry, I was cranky. I pushed people away. I was insecure and miserable.
Now, I am heavier, but I do look better than I did way back in 2012, don’t I? I’m healthier, I enjoy doing yoga as my work-out, I don’t go hungry. My arms are bigger than they used to be, yeah, but to be honest?
I feel sexier. I’m more comfortable in my skin. I am more confident when dressing. I smile more. I enjoy my friends. I don’t focus on my weight, but on the things I enjoy. I love my life.
The scale doesn’t tell the whole story.
"Consensual sex" is just sex. To say that implies that there is such a thing as "non consensual sex", which there isn’t. That’s rape. That is what it needs to be called. There is only sex or rape. Do not teach people that rape is just another type of sex. They are two very separate events. You wouldn’t say "breathing swimming" and "non breathing swimming", you say swimming and drowning.